So, during the lock-down you’re staying safe at home – but you’re realizing that safe and sane are not the same! Your safe-haven can quickly get toxic when it now doubles as your workplace and your dearly beloveds have morphed into irritable colleagues!
This is especially true for introverts who are more prone to burn-out from too much stimulation and interaction and so need to de-stress with alone time and less sensory input.
You need to make a sanctuary. That safe space, that happy place, you can retreat to for a mini-holiday every day.
Create a sanctuary
We can’t all afford a special “man-cave” or “she-shed” (true story!) but we can create a small space in our homes or gardens to retreat to. Even a dedicated corner of your bedroom might become your sanctuary spot. Our home is built on a high ridge in a quiet neighbourhood. I have a chair in an alcove of our bedroom that gives me a view over our leafy suburb. The open space and natural beauty feed my soul at the start and end of each day.
Guard that sanctuary
Guard your sanctuary by setting boundaries of time and space. This means making regular times in the day to break away to that place. At the very least, start and end your day with 15-20 minutes in this sanctuary.
Also, physically define that space as yours and for that purpose. Close a door. Put up a screen. Communicate these time and space boundaries kindly and clearly to the family. E.g. “Guys, I just need to take 20 minutes or so by myself in my spot. Please don’t disturb me. This will help me be much better company for you afterwards!” (I promise)
Use it for Self-regulation
Self-regulation is the important skill of “managing ourselves”. It’s our ability to monitor and control our own thoughts, feelings and behaviours to consistently match our values and the situations we find ourselves in. Emotionally, it is the ability to calm ourselves down or cheer ourselves up, as needed. So, your sanctuary gives you a chance to self-regulate during this stressful time. It’s a place for reflection, processing and prayer. You may want to use journaling or art to help you do these things.
Use it for Sensory regulation
We all have a unique capacity to handle the sensory input flooding our systems all day long – sights, sounds, touch etc. Sensory regulation is about using sensory inputs for “self-soothing”. You are physically calming your overloaded nervous system. So, incorporate into your sanctuary space the calming effects of different sensory inputs:
Visual: Use natural light, full-spectrum lighting with dimmer switch or the soft lighting from lamps. Reduce the glare from shiny surfaces. Decorate in calming greens, blues or purples.
Auditory: Sit in silence or play calming instrumental music.
Tactile/touch: Surround yourself with soft, firm, smooth surfaces.
Smell: Limit fragrances or use calming ones, like rose or lavender.
Taste: Warm, smooth and bland or slightly-sweetened drinks are calming (Personally, I love my tea!)
Movement: You might enjoy a rocking chair, hammock or seat swing. If you prefer to be still, try the bear hug of a big bean bag or an overstuffed armchair with pillows.
Take some steps today to create your sanctuary!